Naomi Amparo Lambert On Motherhood And How To Deal With Postpartum DepressionFeb 07, 2023
A woman’s body and mind undergoes a massive change after childbirth. Some get simple “baby blues” that go away after a few days, while others suffer from postpartum depression that may last weeks. In this episode, Naomi Amparo Lambert, a Global Commercial Leader, shares her experience of entering motherhood and how she handled postpartum depression herself. She explains how she addressed such a challenging ordeal and the support she got from the people around her. Learn what steps Naomi took to get through this complicated phase of being a mother by tuning in to this inspiring episode.
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Naomi Amparo Lambert On Motherhood And How To Deal With Postpartum Depression
I am so excited because I have a super special guest. She's someone that I've always been inspired by, to be honest with you. She's Naomi Amparo Lambert. Naomi is my friend. She's also my coaching client. We have worked together. She's also an amazing consultant for Renewable Energy. She's a Senior Manager in a consulting company. More than that, Naomi is a mom and a wife. We got to mention that. How are you doing now?
We met in corporate back in 2015 maybe or before.
It was before that. It's been a while.
She has always been such a leader in the Hispanic world, empowering women. When I was in corporate, I'm like, "One day I want to be just like her." She has such a strong force and an amazing sense of empowerment and always standing up for women. I had the pleasure of coaching you, which was an amazing experience.
I want this episode to focus on your transition on your motherhood journey. Even your transition before motherhood and after motherhood, because you said it's an identity shift. It's completely different. I talk to many coaching clients who are going through similar struggles to the ones you have been going through in the past. Even right now, reinventing yourself is a long-term process.
You're always doing it.
Before getting into that, tell us more about yourself.
Thanks for having me. We've probably known each other for ten years or more. The previous company that you and I worked for is a super major company in the oil industry. We're both involved in the Latino organization. That's always been something that I've been part of and tried to promote. It's interesting because now that I reflect back on it, there were mothers obviously in that organization.
I don't think I ever appreciated their journeys back then when I was single and had no children. Now, it's more important to still be part of the promotion of Latinos in any organization. Even beyond that, Latinos that are mothers, in general. That is something that hopefully I can do on my new journey where I'm at right now.
You're doing that already. Let's start with where you were born. What's your background? We want to know Naomi.
That's funny because everyone tells me that I look from all different areas. People would say, "Where are you from?" I would say, "I'm from Arizona." My family, we were raised in a little tiny town, Yuma, Arizona, which is a border with Mexico. People would always say, "Where are you really from?" I was like, "Are you talking about where I'm from because of the way I look?" I'm Mexican. My family is from Guadalajara. I was born in California, so it gets even crazier.
I didn't remember that.
I never lived there because at 1 or 2 years old, my family ended up settling in Yuma, Arizona. We were an agricultural family. My father was the one primarily working. My mother was a stay-at-home mom. I'm number 3 of 6 kids. I don't know how she did it. Much respect for my mother as well now. I'm from a little town, went to college at Arizona State, and did supply chain management.
From there, I came straight to work here in Houston. It was a big move as well, because you probably know coming from a Latino family, it's close-knit and you don't branch out. I remember a conversation my mother had with me. First, before going to college, I was going three hours away. She was like, "Do you need to do that?" I was like, "Yes." After college, I was like, "I'm going to Houston." My mother, same thing, was like, "Where's that again? That's far." Anyways, the point is that I've never been afraid of taking a challenge, taking a step. I'll talk about that in the motherhood journey as well because that's been a challenge on its own.
I love that you come from such humble beginnings. You are breaking also the generational pattern that sometimes comes with being born Latin or any minority.
In my family and my extended family with cousins and everyone, I was the first person to go to college and graduate from college. I feel a bit of a pioneer. I'm proud of that because thereafter, a lot of my cousins and all my siblings have gone to college. I'm very glad that I was able to step out and take that challenge. As I mentioned, being from a close-knit Latino family, my mother was asking, "Do you have to go?" I was like, "I do." It set the stage for the rest of my family to take ON those challenges as well.
That's beautiful. You went into the corporate world. You killed it. You climbed up the ladder so quickly in amazing ways. Everyone was like, "Wow." We were all looking up to you, and of course, still are. You got pregnant. Tell us about the transition before getting pregnant and motherhood, and after. How did that impact your life?
Thank you. My career did move quite fast in the company we were in and upward. I was taking on very big challenges very early on in my career. It was just an approach. I was applying an approach to my career which is probably going to lead to some of the challenges I had with motherhood. For me, it was always to set a goal. It's not necessarily a big goal to set. Work towards it, and then set the next one, and set the next one. It's stepping. That was an expectation.
I was always setting very high expectations for myself. It paid off. I had a lot of responsibility at a young age. I was trekking along, taking on the next challenge. I was pregnant in 2018. That was interesting because my husband was getting expatriated to India at that time. I was also going to go to work in India with my previous employer. Life happened, and we were pregnant.
Were you expecting it?
I love these stories.
I was not expecting it to happen, but as I said, life happens. At that time, I was very scared to say it at work, because we were doing this process to move abroad for his company and also for mine.
What was it like thinking behind that fear?
That's where the first challenge comes. The challenge and the fear for me were that they were going to cancel my assignment. The fear was that I was going to lose out on this opportunity after I had worked so hard to get to where I was. At the same time, when I would go back home, I would feel guilty. This was very early on in the pregnancy.
It's great about my career, but also, this is very exciting. We had been married. We did want to start a family. We just didn't know exactly the timing. Again, you can't time life. It just happens. I was feeling fear and guilt already from very early on in my pregnancy. I waited the traditional twelve weeks, first trimester.
Even then, I waited a little bit more, and then I finally mentioned to my employer that I'm pregnant. I'm going to give some kudos to the person that was my manager at the time, because it was nothing, no fear, whatsoever. The person was very supportive. The person was, "That's great. We'll still continue on with the process." I was like, "Really?" I was already expecting something different. We need more managers like that.
To continue on, we ended up moving to India, but there was a twist in that whole journey. I ended up going on leave. That's the second challenge that I had. I announced the pregnancy, and everything was fine. Through all these corporate procedures, there was an issue because we were going to be living in India. I had to take medication to prevent malaria, which I had taken before. Once I reviewed it with my doctor, the answer was, "No way. You can't take that. "
That was a requirement of the assignment. Again, life happens in interesting ways. The decision was put back on me to say, "This is a requirement and we cannot change the policy. Even more, there's a liability with that. There's another little human being in the picture. The decision was that I'll take early maternity leave, do that maternity leave, and have the baby. After the baby's born, take the leave that's given anyway, and then come back to work in India. That was the arrangement. That's how we ended up going to India. I went there on a leave of absence.
That was a requirement. For whatever reason, do you feel there would have been another option for that? If you are in the company's shoes, do you feel it could have been done differently or maybe something to consider?
At the moment, I only saw two things. Either I take the position and take this medication, but it's risky because we don't know the effects on the pregnancy, or take this early maternity leave. I didn't see other options at that time. In hindsight and seeing how progressive a lot of companies have been in the last few years, I do think there could have been another option. There could have been an exception. They could have probably even had me sign a liability waiver of some sort for me to release liability that I would be responsible for my own health, etc. There could have been something done, but that's just in hindsight.
That's a great point. I didn't think of that. I thought of those two options. I remember you going through a process, and I'm glad you took that one. That's what I would do.
You know what, though, it was very difficult, because I was already a little bit over ten years. It's been a long time.
You have worked hard. You're in a good position. You have progressed proportionally to the work that you have put in. You're pregnant, and new life, new priorities. I don't know, but I imagine how hard that was for you.
At that time, that's where the feeling of guilt came in. Barely the very early months of pregnancy, I can frankly say they were not enjoyable because I was feeling that guilt of, "I've worked so hard. I've been a regional manager, global manager now. This part of my life that I also wanted is happening at the same time that my career was propelling, and I have to make a decision."
It's the fork in the road, and it was very hard. I took the decision that was the best decision for me. Also, in hindsight, that's the best thing that I could have done. At the moment, I'm not going to lie. I did cry when I was in India feeling like I made a mistake. "I should've taken the medication. I should've continued. I maybe should have stayed back."
You continued processing the whole thing.
Yes, I did.
It's okay. We're human beings.
It wasn't until we got to India that I was 7 to 8 months into the pregnancy. I was almost there when I said, "Naomi, just enjoy it. It's done. You took a pause in your career. It's okay." There were a couple of ladies back again at this employer that I was at that said the same thing to me. They were very successful women. Both of them had taken leave, not obviously the early maternity. I might have been one of the first ones to do that.
You were the trailblazer again.
They had mentioned to me, "You're never going to get that time back with your child." Again, everything's in hindsight. Now, I look back, that was a silver lining, a blessing in disguise. I am so happy that I got to spend two and a half years with my son. That's a valuable time that I'll never get back. It's time that it's so important for a child's life where you set the foundation, and I was there. It wasn't an easy ride, so we can talk about that, but now, I'm so glad that I was able to do that.
That's beautiful. Looking back on that, I imagine this fork where you have to choose your career or your family and kid. We always say there is a lesson in every single challenge. That thing there is from the universe to teach you something. What was that lesson, looking back at it? You were going in the sky and this happens. What a beautiful place. That's a fork. I can't picture it.
I like that you're talking about lessons because one thing I learned from you is that there are lessons everywhere and you have to pause. If you have a challenging thing, if something's maybe even going great, there's a lesson in everything. What was the lesson? Everything was a step for me. Everything happened so quickly. I think the lesson from life, from the universe, was, "Naomi, slow down and appreciate life. By the way, here's a life that you could appreciate."
There are lessons everywhere. You just have to pause.
You're not doing it by yourself. Guess what? We are going to push you to do it. We're going to help you in the right direction. Would you have slowed down?
I don't think I would have. If I would've kept doing that, there would've been burnout at some point. No doubt about it. I do think the lesson was, "Slow down. Appreciate what you've accomplished. Appreciate life, and just enjoy it. Don't rush through everything."
I love that so much. You got to India. What happened after that? It's a new country. You're pregnant. You were faced with a lot of uncertainty in some way. How was the pregnancy? You gave birth. What happened afterward?
The birth was very traumatic. That's another challenge that spiraled out of control. We got to India. I did spend a few days of crying because I was having that identity shock. This is how my day was. I would wake up and it's like, "I should be getting on online." I'm checking my email and doing something. I felt anxious that I needed to be busy. That was the thing, but I don't have a deadline. I don't have a report. I don't have a presentation.
I started getting more involved in reading and being in India, yoga, so that was great. The medical aspect of that was very scary. There were very different medical standards. That's why I'm saying that the birth was very traumatic. Just to share here candidly, we had prepared everything for a natural birth. I should also mention that my husband and I were big triathletes. Before we were pregnant, we had just finished doing an Ironman. We consider ourselves in tip-top shape and healthy. My pregnancy had no complications. It was a very healthy pregnancy.
We were planning this birth. We had a birth plan. We had practice. We had gone to these yoga classes. We had done the checklist item of preparing for an outcome, and then, that outcome didn't come. The outcome was we had an emergency C-section that, in reality, was not an emergency. This is where the trauma came in. It was forced on us. Part of that was coming to closure with what had happened. We had this expectation of this outcome, and I feel the choice was taken away from us.
Again, everything's in hindsight. Looking back at it, it probably was the best thing that could have happened anyway. Being in a foreign country, and we have a healthy and beautiful child. We don't know the what-ifs. Something could have happened if we didn't have this emergency C-section. Anyway, the fact that at that time I felt I was forced and not given enough time to let nature do its thing sent me into this whole downward spiral to start with depression.
At some point, one of the doctors I had seen was like, "You may have some mild PTSD." I'm like, "What?" It was from the birth experience because it was very traumatic with the way that it evolved. Up until five months, that was a transition time. That was difficult. There was identity shock. Around seven months, I was finally enjoying it. During the labor and after birth was just complete chaos, with what happened.
When was the moment that you were like, "I'm depressed. I am struggling?"
I also communicated with other moms. Everyone had mentioned baby blues that happen a few days or two weeks after you give birth. You're tired. You're crying. Some of that is happy tears. You're looking at this beautiful human being and you're excited, but you're crying. At the same time, you're feeling overwhelmed that you have this huge, immense responsibility on your hands. I had heard, "That's normal. It's the baby blues."
I had that. Two weeks went by and I still had that, 1 month, 2 months, 3 months. I was still feeling very overwhelmed and tired. The tiredness is normal. You're waking up at crazy hours during the night. It was the feeling of being overwhelmed and not having any enjoyment, whatsoever with this whole experience. I knew something was off because I was still looking forward.
Once I got over the whole career pause, going to India, getting on yoga, etc., I was so excited for it that now that it's here, this change, and this motherhood, I was not excited anymore. It took one of the pediatricians in India, who asked me a few questions and we were talking. I think it was at the three-month mark. She said, "You have postpartum depression." She was the same one that later on like, "You might even have mild PTSD."
"I have more to that diagnosis there."
It was the questions that she had asked me, "Are you happy?" There were simple things like that. "When you wake up in the morning, what do you think about? Have you taken a shower?" It was like that. In the first session with her, we were going in for my son, but the session turned to me. She wrote a prescription and said, "I want you to take a shower and feel the hot water. That's what I want you to do."
It's mindfulness, being present, and being there.
I didn't know it at the time, but you're right. That's exactly what she was doing. I knew something was off. I was not enjoying the process. I was not enjoying my new role. This extremely overwhelmed feeling, the fatigue. I still had crying sessions throughout that whole process, and it was for little things. Sometimes my husband would try to get me to smile. That's another thing. He would mention, "Think about when we go to the snow for the first time with our son." Instead of getting excited and smiling, that would make me so sad to think about this experience that I probably was not going to enjoy. Why would I even think that? That is something that I would enjoy.
When you're there in that state, it's hard to see the light. You are deep. How were your relationships with other moms or other people? Did you ever compare yourself? I'm asking you this, because before coming into the session, I asked a couple of people, "What questions will you ask people that have been in similar situations?" Something that they mentioned is comparing themselves, and feeling, "It's so easy for them. They're enjoying the whole experience. I'm here feeling bad."
I did compare myself. Even back to the pregnancy, a lot of my friends have already become mothers. They had recommended books to me. I was reading all these books. That's probably where these expectations started. These expectations were not met later, which contributed to my feelings. I was reading these books, setting expectations from what these books said about being a mom, having a happy child, and having a great labor.
Everything else will be great.
All of these expectations that I said, "I need to do that. That needs to be me." Life happens, your baby's here, and none of the things that the book said are happening. One of the things I always remember is this checklist that you do in your mind to make sure you have a happy child. Which was, "Did you swaddle the baby? Did you change their diaper? Did you feed them? Did you burp them? Did you check their temperature?" it has all this checklist of things. In the book, it said, "After you've done all that, do this and shush them a little bit, and they should be fast asleep." None of that worked.
I've heard these ones before.
I did the checklist and everything. The baby's still crying. I continued, baby's still crying. That's where I'm like, "What am I doing wrong? I'm being bad. I'm not a good mom. It's not working. It must be me." If the book says that that's what's supposed to work and it's not working, then something's wrong with me. The books are setting the expectations. Thereafter the comparison with moms, I totally did that.
That also led to not being able to get out of this downward spiral that I was in. I would see other mothers and they would be happy. At least that's what they showed. They were enjoying their child. "Motherhood is great and the best thing that could happen to me." There I was listening to this, and I was thinking, "It's totally me."
I was going to mother support groups in India. When we were in India with the expat community, there were mother support groups, and I befriended quite a few people there. We would have these discussions, and they were great because obviously, you're having the support. At the same time, I think that they were hurtful, and it led to more comparisons. I never heard anyone else talk about depression during those sessions. That's part of the problem. I do think that women go through these issues or have challenges, but they're silent. They're too afraid to speak up about it.
I'm so happy that you are here to speak up, because I know it's vulnerable. I want to commend you for even sharing this experience.
Thank you, Yanet.
Seriously, I mean it. You're courageous and bold because you're showing up here and you’re sharing these. I've heard many stories of people that I know who have gone through the same journey. I don't hear about this enough. I'm like, "That's why Naomi and I need to make an episode about this." Let's break the pattern of not talking about these things because they do happen and they're more common than people may think.
Break the pattern of not talking about depression.
I completely agree. That's why I was telling you, in these support groups, I don't remember anyone talking about postpartum depression in a mother's support group. Therefore, I was also thinking to myself, "It is me." I would go online and read on Google. I'm going to admit to this, what helped a little bit was some celebrities have come forward. They have vocalized postpartum depression. They're trying to break this stigma of postpartum depression.
I found calm and comfort in that, that these women that are famous celebrities are putting themselves out there. There are other people who are having this, and it's not just me. What's interesting, though is the common mom, not the celebrity mom, the majority of the moms. I didn't hear it from them. I still think there's something to be done there, to bring that to light.
There is much more to be done. We need to share more of our stories because it is true. One of my purposes in doing this show is to share the stories of people. In this level, we are just common. Celebrities are not common, but they're up there.
I completely agree.
We need more stories.
I would say the other thing. When you asked me to talk about this, I was reflecting back on what led to all of this. It's part of life. That's the first thing. The other thing is when I look back at my career and always being so career-driven, and now, I'm back in my career. I realized that you can say type-A personality, whatever. I would say having very high expectations being so goal-oriented and trying to always be perfect in that decade when I was building my career, I was trying to apply that same philosophy to motherhood.
Like the checklist.
Exactly. "I followed this. Why is it not working?" At some point, I followed this book that I'm not happy about. It was about studying at three months old, like a schedule. Apparently, some women do that. That's what the book said. I'm looking at this book, and I don't trust anything that book said. A schedule at three months old? How in the world? Anyway, the point was that the way I approach my professional life was pretty much almost a disaster if I was going to use the same approach for my motherhood life. There's no way that I can expect to be perfect as a mom. You can't do that. There's no such thing as a perfect mom.
It's going to be messy.
Setting these expectations for this little human being and expecting them to meet them is unrealistic.
That's putting them in a box. "You should behave this way when I do this." It's just unpredictable.
That's not going to happen. That's a good word. Unpredictable. Babyhood is unpredictable.
It is because adults are unpredictable. I cannot imagine a baby and you getting to know this baby, and how it works. I'm not a mom yet, but it's a big shift.
It's true. The fact that I was having this approach, my new career was raising this human being, and trying to apply that, that could not work. I needed a new formula. I needed a new model. I needed something new. I was trying to fit that in, but things were not working, and I was not getting the results that I was supposed to be getting from what these books and these moms said. Therefore, the only bad thing in that whole situation was me. That's how I looked at it.
You didn't fit the formula that all the happy moms were using.
That's part of the career-hood and motherhood kit.
It makes sense because you are one person. How you operate in one area usually you operate in the other ones, because it's the same pattern, running a different context. How was your healing journey? You were deep in depression, and you were still in India?
Yes. We were still in India, then COVID started. That didn't help either. It was around March 2020.
It seems like it was ages. I'm like, "COVID, what is that?"
Our whole expatriate assignment was from October 2018 to December 2020. We did have from March to December of 2020 of COVID. I knew something was not working. My husband is French, and we had gone to France when my son was around six months. That's when I started talking to a therapist because I was the one who was tired of it. That's another thing that started the healing process was, "This was not me." I would look at myself in the mirror and say, "This is not you. You are happy, energetic, and a go-getter. You're excited about things. You did triathlons. You did an Ironman." It was like a natural, maybe also life like, "Naomi, snap out of it."
Your intuition was talking to you, "Do something about it."
It's intuition. The gut feeling was, "Something is not right. This is not you. You need help." I seek help. When we were in France and he was around six months, I started talking to a therapist. That helped because at least I started the venting process. The healing process of having had this traumatic experience as well with labor was a healing part of it, too. Also, being able to talk about it and vent.
If the gut feeling tells you that something is not right, it is not you. You need help, so seek help at once.
When we went back to India, I felt better, but I was not 100%. I still knew that I needed more. I started exercising again. I started venturing out. We did a few trips when we were over there. That was all part of the healing process. It was starting to get my life back or my identity back. That happened, but then COVID hit. COVID hit with all the isolation, not being able to go out, and all that.
Everything started coming back. I knew that even though I had done that therapy session, it had not addressed the root causes. It was more of a Band-Aid to the root of the depression that was happening. Fast forward, we came back to the States at the end of 2020, and then I was like, "I still need more help." I reached out again to a person here in Houston and did a few sessions with that person. I was still taking therapy, and going through it, but I still felt like it was not enough. I still didn't feel 100%. It was in May 2021. Something interesting happened during that timeframe. Remember, I've been on leave this whole time.
You're right. You were on leave. You came back. You're still an inactive employee because you're on leave.
I skipped over that part. When my son was born, you do the normal leaves the company was offering you, which that was the original plan. Once the baby's born and you do the leave, you come back to work. I did get a request of communication to say, "Are you ready to come back to work?" This was when I was right in the middle of this postpartum depression, a downward spiral, not feeling whatsoever. I was like, "No way. I cannot go back to work in this state of mind."
Not only that, but we were still in India, so I couldn't even think of childcare. Who am I going to leave my son with? I don't know anyone. I don't have any family here. The trust aspect. I said, "I can't go back." Again, same thing, I'm giving a lot of credit back to the manager at this point. I was giving another leave of absence, but this time it was no longer maternity-related. It was a personal leave of absence for another year. That's where another year came from.
Fast forward to 2021, I'm supposed to return back to work. At that time, COVID had already happened. A lot of companies suffered a lot of issues during COVID. It's the same thing with our employer. They went through some layoffs and things like that. I was not impacted because I was not an active employee at the time. When I was supposed to come back, the alignment was no longer there. I was coming back as a mother. When I reflected back on the position, that whole upward trend, it was no longer a fit, and so we parted ways. That was hard.
Here's a thing. Something that I've noticed even in this conversation, and I've heard parts of this story already. It's how you honored your own input and how you honored your intuition even in the times where the ego was like, "That's dangerous." The ego is always going to make you step back compared to what your intuition is saying. I love that every time of the process, every decision that I hear is like, she went with her gut at the end of the day.
I didn't know. I just knew it no longer felt right. That is intuition. We parted ways, and then, I pivoted my career into something completely different. While I was pivoting my career, I was getting back into the workforce, this time with a toddler. It's a new Naomi. That was difficult on its own. It was around May 2021. I was still not completely healed, even having done those therapy sessions. That's when I knew I needed something else. I said, "I have a friend. I need to reach out." That's where you came in, and I've learned so many things because it was different. I feel that our sessions addressed the root cause.
That was the first thing. It's the breakthrough. Naomi, let's go deep because we got to find the thing and release it, not only talk about it. Therapy is incredibly helpful whenever you're into trauma at the beginning because coaching is a lot of action. In a way, you also got to be more stable. You had done some healing already, but there was something lingering. The root cause wasn't taken care of, and then we did it. How do you feel after the breakthrough?
I was tired.
That is after 5 hours, and sometimes 6.
It was learning about myself that I had never done before because you're going deep. You're peeling back the layers. I've heard so much about this. I'm really into Wayne Dyer.
We love Wayne Dyer, best spiritual teacher ever.
I listened to his motivational speeches whenever I'm in the car on a long car ride.
He's so good.
What I like about that is that everything comes from inside. Internally, the real you and all these other layers that you put on top are the stresses from daily life, and the expectations from books and other people. You start covering the real you with all these layers. The program that I went through with you was peeling those layers back and finding the real Naomi.
You're facing it. Whenever you get there, you got to be able to face that and say, "Yes, I'm ready." You were ready. If not, you wouldn't have reached out. If not, you wouldn't have known something is missing.
I was ready because I was tired of being like this.
You're like, "I don't know what this is. This breakthrough, this NLP thing. I don't know, but I need something different."
I would say the same thing. Reflecting back on what worked in the healing process, those initial therapy sessions set the stage, and vent out. What worked after going with you and working with you in the program was consistency. We need consistent action, little action. You do little things. I'm thinking back, "Naomi, you had always done that in your career."
You had the formula already.
I just had to tweak it for motherhood and marry these two stages of my life together. It was being consistent with the actions.
Sometimes people may be like, "Every week I have homework." It's homework that a lot of times you are the one also deciding that homework for you to take action to really get to that goal. The whole purpose is making you succeed, making you get to that goal, whatever that goal is because it is within you. You have the resources. It's making you more resourceful.
You reminded me of the second thing, which is accountability. That's exactly what you're talking about.
That's huge coaching, accountability. What I love about the coaching process and Naomi is passionate about Montessori. That style which I love about the whole presupposition of all of this process is that the individual has already the answers within themselves. They just need guidance on how to find it. At the end of the day, maybe I ask a guide, I ask the right questions, and the right skills, too. At the end of the day, it's helping you navigate yourself. That's what coaching is.
You may already have the answers within yourself. You just need guidance on finding them.
Actually, I see you as my Sherpa.
I'm going to cry here. You're so sweet.
Thinking about it, everyone needs a Sherpa.
Coaches need it. Therapists need it. We all need it.
You were asking the right questions that we, ourselves, can't ask the right questions to ourselves.
We all have blind spots.
We have those layers, so it's hard to ask ourselves the right questions, but you're Sherpa can, so I see it. You helped me navigate my summit.
I'm so honored and I thank you for the trust that you put in me because I am committed and I want to see you succeed. There is this huge trust element and this faith and hope that things will work out always.
You mentioned Montessori.
Let's talk about it.
I learned this from you as well. It is looking back, reflecting back, and capturing the lessons. I think us going to India was meant to happen. Why? It gave me two and a half years of valuable time with my son. Granted, because I was in this deep dark stage at that time, I may not have enjoyed it at that time, but now, I appreciate having spent that time with my son. That's the first thing. This trip to India, this living abroad was meant to happen.
Second thing, I discovered Montessori in India when my son was six months after having been in France and done the initial therapy sessions. When we went back to India, I discovered Montessori during that time. Guess where I discovered it? I mentioned the mother's group that in the first six months, I didn't see the help. I was just comparing myself. When we went back and I went back to the mother's group, too, in one of the sessions, they were talking about Montessori. Now looking back, I feel like everything was lining up.
All the adults connect when you look back. It's like, "I needed that. Got it."
Ever since then, reading about it and getting my entry-level certification in Montessori.
You have done so many things in that area.
I love it. This whole experience of living abroad had a purpose. Even though it was traumatic and I went through this postpartum depression, now I've overcome it. I'm not going to say the journey was easy, or the journey is easy now. I'm not going to say that because every day is a lesson. Every day, there's something to learn, grow, and appreciate. The things that I'm thankful for are I've spent time with my son, I learned about Montessori, and I met all these moms that I'm still connected with. There were a lot of great things that came up from that experience.
Every day is a lesson. There is always something to learn and appreciate in life.
That's beautiful. I'm so happy for you. I've seen you grow on everything that you are being. More than accomplishing, everything that you are being, which is at the core of every accomplishment. It's so inspiring for me, also. I'm honored. As we conclude, Naomi, let's assume there is someone struggling with postpartum depression. What would you say to that person? What would you have needed to hear at that moment when you were going through postpartum depression?
If I can go back and talk to Naomi back at that time, the first thing I would say is, "Naomi, it's okay. It's temporary."
You will get through this. You don't see it now, but you will get through this. That's the first thing I would say. It's temporary because I would've calmed the expectations a little bit. There's a light. When you're in that stage, you don't see that light. If someone could have said, "There's a light, and it's okay. This is part of life. We'll get through it," that would've been very helpful for me at that point. The second thing I would say is, "Naomi, look inside yourself. Close your eyes." I never did that during that whole time that I was in that postpartum. There was a really bad cloud over my head. I never took the time to sit, close my eyes, and look within myself. I don't know why.
You were in this doing energy.
I was trying to make it better if it was my fault because I thought it was my fault. I was always trying to be busy, trying to be perfect, or trying to recover.
You were stopping yourself from facing the pain that you were feeling at that moment.
That would be the second thing. "Close your eyes for a bit. Let's do some breathing and look within ourselves." That would've calmed the waters down.
It is proven. Even your nervous system, everything, it's just allowing yourself to be.
The third thing I would say is, "Naomi, you love yourself." I wish someone could have said that to me because when I looked at myself in the mirror, I would say, "That's not you." There was always never an appreciation of who I was. I was always beating myself down and saying, "You weren't able to sleep your baby. You weren't able to do this. You weren't able to do that."
I was even my worst enemy at that time. I wish someone could say, "Naomi, you do love yourself. Look at all the great things that you're doing," and pointed that out. I would say those are the three main things. Thereafter, if you're able to find that internal motivation, which I did after many months and after already two therapy sessions was to get help.
Ask for help. We all need help. Asking for help doesn’t mean that we are not enough to do it ourselves. We know we can do it. We just need that extra help to go to a next level. That's beautiful. I'm so honored.
Thanks for having me. As I said, I hope that this discussion can help a mother out. I do know it's very difficult when you're in a career. I was not even vocalizing my pregnancy. Now, I would say, "Let's break those barriers. Let's come out, talk about it, share experiences, and hope that it helps someone else."
That's beautiful. Show up authentically. That's what we are here for. We are here for ourselves and for everyone else to up level each other and the whole community of women and everyone else. Even though they don't go through that biological change, they're there with us. It's so important to keep everyone informed. I appreciate you so much, Naomi. Thank you so much. If someone wants to connect with you, do they connect via LinkedIn? What if they want your social media?
I'm on LinkedIn. That's the place to go. You're even going to see on LinkedIn that I am very forward about my maternity leave of absence. I have it right there so people know I took a time off. I know. That's another thing. A lot of women don't like to put that they were off for family or maternity. I'm breaking the barriers down on that. You'll see it right there.
You are like, "Nothing to hide. I'm living with integrity here." People need to get used to seeing more of that. I love it.
They can connect to me on LinkedIn.
Thank you so much for being here.
I appreciate you so much and I love you. Thank you everyone for tuning in. If you found this episode helpful, or you know someone that may benefit from it, please share it with friends, family, everyone, the whole community. Thank you so much and I'll see you next week. Bye-bye.
- Naomi Amparo Lambert - LinkedIn
- Wayne Dyer
About Naomi Amparo Lambert
Naomi is a dynamic, resourceful, and strategic Global Commercial Leader with over 12 years of experience in the Energy industry who is on a mission to leave the world a little greener by leveraging her diverse skillset. She is a personal development enthusiast, a devoted mother and wife, and an Iron Man Finisher.
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