Creating Certainty Within Yourself In Uncertain Times MasterclassAug 01, 2023
A huge chunk of our lives are actually out of our control. Going through uncertain times is indeed unavoidable. But for Yanet Borrego, this must not be spent feeling sorry for yourself but should be seen as the perfect chance to learn and grow. In this online masterclass, she explores how to work on improving yourself and looking for the answers within, instead of getting confused or agitated by the things happening around you. Yanet also presents five life-changing mindset shifts to remain clam, centered, and balanced, as well as inspiring testimonies of her previous clients she helped live the life they truly want.
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Creating Certainty Within Yourself In Uncertain Times Masterclass
This episode is special because I'm doing something I have never done before. I am sharing with you the last masterclass I had as an episode. You will be able to read all the content to access all the content in this episode and also go through the exercises we were doing in the masterclass. It is going to be a lot of fun. This masterclass is titled Creating Certainty Within Yourself in Uncertain Times. Let's be honest. Life is full of uncertainty. The only moment we have, which is the present moment, is full of uncertainty because we don't know what is going to happen next.
Many times in our lives, we try to predict and figure out what is next. We try to control every single thing around us when the reality is we don't have control of most things, but we do have control of the most important element of all, ourselves. That is why the masterclass is titled Creating Certainty Within Yourself in Uncertain Times. I hope you enjoy it. If you find a lot of value in it, share it with a friend and family member. Please help me to continue empowering and uplifting the community around us. Enjoy.
This masterclass is all about creating certainty within yourself in uncertain times. What are uncertain times? Every day of our lives. The reality is that is the nature of life. There are many things we don't have control over in life, but the most important thing we do is ourselves, the way we feel, behave, and think. This masterclass is all about exploring and discovering five life-changing mindset shifts to remain calm, centered, and balanced amidst the chaos, whatever it is you are going through in your life.
I'm going to talk about why this topic is important to me and why it means so much for me to support you in the most important goal that anyone in this life has getting to know yourself. Out of everything else, that is a priority because when you get to know yourself, you find the clarity you are looking for, you find that certainty that is within yourself already, and you can face life with confidence and courage to pursue your dreams and do anything and everything you put your mind into. Thank you so much for being here. I'm beyond excited. Let's make this happen, my friends.
In this training, I'm going to show you how you can make the ultimate shift from being paralyzed and overwhelmed by uncertainty, which happens to all of us, to showing up empowered by creating certainty within yourself so you can design a life of abundance, fulfillment, and authenticity, a life of intention and purpose. We have one life. That is what we are here for. It is to make a difference in ourselves and everyone else who surrounds us.
What do you need in this masterclass? You can get all the material so you can be successful. The only three things you need are an open mind, an open heart because we will be exploring different concepts, and something to write, maybe your computer or notebook. There are many studies that prove that whenever you write something, it gets embedded easily in your subconscious mind because writing is something we have done for years. It is an automatic process. When you do it, you can influence and access more of that information later on.
If it is a computer, or a notebook, whatever it is, it doesn't matter. They have to remain flexible. Turn off all distractions. This is one hour for you to focus on yourself, nurture yourself, and find that certainty that you have been looking on the outside but within yourself. Please respect this time for you as we continue making progress.
As we start, I want to do a quick exercise. If you mind, close your eyes and imagine, as you close your eyes, that you are in your house. In your hand, you have your car keys. You are looking at your car keys. Suddenly, the power in your house goes out. All the lights go off. You realize you dropped your car keys. It is dark, and you are trying to find the keys on the floor. You have been spending several minutes. You cannot find them because there is no light.
You get impatient and frustrated. You look outside of the window. You look at the street. You realize that, in the street, there is light. A light bulb goes up in your brain and says, “In the street, there is light. I'm trying to find my keys. Let me go to the street where there is light and try to find my keys there.” You leave your house and go to the street where there is light. You start looking for your keys.
The neighbor next door comes to you and says, “Did you lose something? Are you trying to find something in the street?” You tell the neighbor, “I'm trying to find my keys here where there is light.” The neighbor starts looking for the keys with you. You guys are spending several minutes. Finally, the neighbor asks, “Where do you lose your keys? Was it here?” You tell the neighbor, “I lost the keys inside of my house, but I saw the light from the street and started looking for them here.” The neighbor looks at you like you are crazy and says, “The keys are inside your house. Why are you looking on the outside?”
I want this to be an analogy of how many times the answers you are seeking are within yourself. We get distracted by shiny objects and the light outside. We forget to face what is going on on the inside. The topic of this episode is finding those keys and certainty within yourself. Many times, we run into the distraction of thinking that everything outside of us has control of us. We have forgotten that the only thing we have control of is us.
I want you to think as you keep your eyes closed. Where are you showing up like this? Where are you showing up in a way where maybe you are being led by seeking external validation instead of internal fulfillment? Where in your life are you getting yourself distracted because you don't want to face what's going on within yourself? I want you to ask the question. What area of life is that for you? Is it a career? Is it family? Is it a romantic relationship? Maybe it is wellness, mental, emotional, or physical health. What is it for you? I want you to come back here into the call.
I love this story. I listen to this story. I know Naomi from Dr. Wayne Dyer. He is one of the most powerful teachers I have followed. He, unfortunately, passed away, but the first time I listened to this story, I felt identified because we hadn't been taught to look inside for the answers. We get easily distracted trying to find that fulfillment and certainty in our careers and partners from how we may look. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how those things are. If we don't work on the inside of what is going on or triggering us, we are not going to find that freedom and certainty.
I asked you to think of an area of life. I want you to be vulnerable here. In this area of life, I ask you to think of the area of life where you are running the pattern of relying on external validation to find that certainty instead of looking within yourself. What area of life is that for you? One area of life that I'm working on now and be working on for the next few years is the area of the career of my business and partnership. What area of life do you keep looking for external validation and relationship?
There is always something we are going to be working on. Sometimes when we think of transformation, we think of an outcome, but there is no outcome. We are going to continue working on the process until we pass away from this life. The reality is that transformation is an ongoing process. There is no outcome. It is important we focus on the process, career, and personal.
When we think of transformation, we think of an outcome. However, this is an ongoing process until we pass away. Focus on the process, both career and personal.
Thank you so much for being vulnerable and for participating. My career is repeating and getting the same type of stressful nursing job. Jana is a nurse. She is in the process of pursuing her dream and things that make her feel fulfilled. That is such a courageous thing to do. I want you to bring to awareness a challenge or a situation where you would like to tune into yourself for certainty, confidence, and courage.
I want you to bring up to mind this situation because as we go through the five mindset shifts, I want you to start thinking, “How does this apply to this situation?” There are a lot of concepts and theories in this masterclass. Even though I love theory, putting these concepts into practice is way more powerful. You think of education now, and we go through the five mindset shifts. At least you get to apply what you are learning at the same time.
If you are something like me, you want to know where you are heading at all times. This is a quick roadmap of what to expect in this masterclass. I want to know first, why are you here? That is in a second. I'm going to explain who I am. Why am I talking about this? What is the mindset coach? We are going to go through the five mindset sheets, the core content of this program, and if you resonate with these concepts, theory, and application, I'm going to explain how to work with me if this is something you are interested in.
In the end, I cleared my calendar after this masterclass. If you have any questions or you need any coaching, I'm here for you. One of the purposes of this call is to bring the community there to interact. Let's make that happen. Stay with me until the end because I have a special bonus if you stay until the end.
Why Are You Here?
First, I want to know why you are here. You are in the right place. If you feel a lack of clarity, you are in a transition period of your life, whether it is in an area of relationships, career, family, health, or romantic relationships, and you are trying to become more grounded and find clarity doing these overwhelming moments which seem to be chaotic and ever-changing.
Maybe this is you. You are trying to find more confidence within yourself. You are working towards your bold and ambitious goals, but you know there is still room to think and act bigger. You are done having self-doubt and are ready to tap into your inner confidence to strengthen that belief that you can do it. Maybe this is you. You are trying to find more courage within yourself. You are successful in theory and are comfortable where you are, but there is something missing, and you know it. You are tired of playing small and ready to tap into your inner courage and resourcefulness to make your dreams come true.
Which one are you? Are you seeking more clarity, or is it more confidence in yourself? Maybe it is more courage to pursue those things. In some parts, we are working on the three of them at all times. There is one that if you work on that one, you will get the highest return on your investment of energy. Which one is that? The power of all of us sharing this is you knowing that you are not alone. You know that all of us, it doesn't matter how much training, or if I'm a coach or not, we are still human beings. We are on the same platform. We are working on the same things.
What I'm practicing every single day is courage because I'm doing every day something that I feel much fear, but I still decide to do it. Courage is a big one for me. Fred is about clarity. I feel I was on clarity a few months ago. The cool thing about clarity is that before you gain clarity, everything is chaotic. Everything is like, “What is happening? Where am I going to?” I love you are working on that, Fred. That is awesome. Whatever your motivation is, I'm here because I fully support you. I hope this content adds value so you can get that clarity, confidence, and courage, which in the end, translates into certainty within yourself.
All About Yanet
I am a clarity and mindset coach and speaker. I also have a podcast on which I'm the host. I have been publishing this podcast on a weekly basis. Because I want to dedicate more time to the community, I transferred that to monthly. It is called With Clarity and Purpose. There are many testimonials from many people and transitions. You should check it out. I'm also the Founder of Discover Your Purpose Program, a digital core that leads you to find your purpose and gain clarity on that thing you are trying to pursue in this life. I’m all about clarity and purpose because having a purpose adds meaning to your life and makes it more fun and fulfilling.
I'm here because I have gone through a journey myself of creating certainty from within. I'm still going through it. I also coach my clients, mentees, and students to think, feel, and behave in alignment with their authentic selves. Whenever you start living in integrity with yourself, which is a lifelong journey of courage, confidence, and clarity, that is when you can tap into your highest potential.
As you can notice, I have an accent. I'm not from Houston, Texas. I was born in Cuba. I immigrated to the US when I was twelve years old with my mom, who was a single mom. We came here with no resources or connections. The only thing we had was the hunger to create a better future for ourselves. We had a dream of experiencing freedom and creating all the opportunities that being born in a communist country such as Cuba was not going to give us.
Earlier in my life, I needed to find that certainty and confidence that somehow we would figure things out. Thankfully, we did. I was twelve years old when we asked for political asylum at the Laredo, Texas, border. From there, we moved to Puerto Rico, where I started chemical engineering. I was hired in Houston, Texas, as a chemical engineer for ExxonMobil for one of the refineries.
In the picture you see, there is not a Halloween costume. That is me getting ready to inspect one of the reactors the refinery had. What you don't see behind that mass was me being unfulfilled. Even though I had finished a prestigious degree such as Chemical Engineering, I was 23 years old with a six-figure salary. Everything that anyone would consider success. I was supporting my family financially.
Even though I had all these checklists of what success was about within myself, I was feeling completely unfulfilled. In this stage of my life, what I was working on was finding clarity on my long-term direction. I’m asking myself for the first time, “Who do I want to be? Who am I? Who is the person I want to be at my core?” A chemical engineer wasn't it for me.
I went through this process of transformation and gaining clarity. That is where I started to get obsessed with understanding better the internal world within ourselves and also helping and coaching others to do the same. In the process, I fell in love with coaching. I stayed in my corporate career for several years. Back in 2021, I decided to pursue my dream of becoming a full-time coach.
I have been several years doing this full-time, and I love it. There is a lot of courage in the process. Even my life is such a clear reflection of gaining that confidence that somehow things will work out gaining that clarity because I wasn't fulfilled with the path I thought I had chosen for myself, I’m being courageous enough to continue pursuing my dreams, which is to guide all of you into a path of more fulfillment.
I got obsessed with understanding our internal world and getting certified. I was certified in linguistic programming, which is understanding how our subconscious mind works. I was certified in hypnosis. That is where I met Nikki. Hypnosis is not like in the movies where I tell you don't do like a chicken. It is nothing like that. It is more about getting you into a state of being relaxed where you are suggestive, where there are positive suggestions that your subconscious mind is absorbing. It is a powerful process. Mental and emotional release is a powerful technique.
I got obsessed with understanding the subconscious mind and conscious mind and understanding how we can create sustainable change. All the things that I learned, I want to bring here to you because this is where change happens. I also believe that, as human beings, we have four bodies, spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical. That is why I have also studied healing arts such as Huna, which is the native ancient Hawaiian way of being and chronic healing.
Let's get into these five life-changing mindset shifts. I want you to imagine this. Can you imagine what it would feel like to embrace paint and uncertainty, remaining present and balanced? This is a habit that you build over time. In different contexts, you will face different circumstances that will trigger different things. The purpose is not to be perfect but to have the right skills and tools to get to that place of centeredness and find that certainty within yourself.
Mindset Shift Number 1: All About Control
Mindset shift number one, when we talk about certainty, think at a deeper level of certainty, and ask about what is the purpose of trying to find certainty, it is all about control and feeling in control. When you go even deeper, you ask yourself, what is the purpose of feeling in control? It is all about feeling safe. In our brains, we still have these ancient parts of our brains, which in the past, we would be faced with imminent danger. In the past, a lion could be five minutes from you, and you needed to run. We would face hunters. We are in danger at all times.
Our ancient brain got used to going into survival mode. As a society and as human beings, we have evolved, but those ancient parts of our brains are still there. Even though we are not in imminent danger every five minutes, we still have that habit of being in emergency mode at all times, an emergency mode of looking for survival.
That is the root cause of that feeling of being safe, belonging, and being in control by all trying to find that certainty outside of us. That is what we are trying to satisfy within, the feeling of safety and control. It gets tricky because when you are in a situation where you are trying to control the outside world, you become frustrated and resentful quickly because you realize you don't have control of much. You don't even have control of the outcomes. You can give your best. I can promote this masterclass everywhere. I don't have control over how many people are going to show up. I don't have control of the outcome.
By trying to find certainty outside ourselves, we are trying to satisfy the feeling of safety and control.
If you let the outside world control you, that is when you become frustrated. I love what it is in this light. You give your power away when you try to control the outside world. You realize you cannot control it. If you don't get back into yourself and you don't get back into that certainty within yourself, the outside world ends up controlling you. The frustration and resentment you feel because you feel out of control. That is what ends up controlling you at the end of the day.
It is interesting because the outside world is a reflection of what is going on within ourselves. The outside world is a feedback mechanism of what we need to do. It is like a mirror. If you feel everything outside of you is out of control, it is such an indication that you got to control yourself. Not controlling yourself in the way of being perfect, but getting into that certainty that everything is temporary and this storm shall pass. If you look at your past, I'm sure you have figured out anything because several years ago, you were in a situation where you were dreaming of being several years ago. You are a human being who is resourceful enough to make anything happen.
I love this quote from Alice Walker, “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.” When we let the circumstances control our inside world, we feel powerless because we realize that we don't have control over the outcome, and we give our power away. Part of reclaiming our power back is tapping into yourself and knowing you are capable of making anything happen.
The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any, and we are the victim of circumstances where the world is happening to us. I'm not saying that we are going to be empowered 100% of the time, but if you think about it, in the most challenging moments of our life, that is where we learned the most.
Reality is highly subjective. If you get this concept, the way you perceive the world is going to change completely for the better. Everything we perceive on the outside is perception. You can have three people going through the same circumstance. The three different people have different perceptions and perspectives of what happened. One of my teachers says, “In the Great Depression, there were people that made lots of money, and there were people that lots of money. It all depends on how you look at your reality.”
This complicated image says everything that happens on the outside. How we perceive it in our minds and reality is instead of filters. Something happens outside, and we filter our reality through our memories, beliefs, decisions, values, focus, and baggage. From all of that, our behavior gets created. The cool thing is that you have the power of awareness and interrupted pattern, that autopilot you have been running over and over.
There are many studies that prove that 90% of the thoughts and emotions we experienced were the emotions and thoughts we experienced yesterday. Ninety percent of everything we think, believe, and act is a pattern of repetition from the past. When we become aware of how we are looking at reality, that is when we become empowered. That is when we can break the pattern of relieving our past and create from the present the reality we have wanted to create.
Reality is subjective, and you have the power of these filters to become aware of what is going on. At least 80% of the thoughts we experience are negative. This is every single day. Eighty percent of all of the thoughts, which are thousands of thoughts, are purely negative and are all about our limitations and not being enough. Now that you know this, you can make that autopilot program become more aware. You can decide to focus on what you want versus focusing on what you don't want.
There is this exercise I take my coaching clients through. It is this exercise about creating their avatar. It is who they want to be spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. When I ask them, and I go through a framework, “Who do you want to be spiritually?” The first thing they told me was who they didn't want to be. Why? It is because our mind is designed to always think on the negative side of things.
Part of finding certainly within yourself is also focusing on the possibilities instead of the limitations. When you wake up, what is the first thing you are thinking? Are you thinking of your problems? Are you thinking of your limitations? Are you telling yourself, “This is going to be an amazing day?” You start with that positive focus because whatever you focus on, you end up noticing. We have all these filters of our reality.
Now that you are aware and you understand a little bit better who you are, how you process reality, which is highly subjective. If you had to choose a word as a filter for your reality, what would that be? Mine would be abundance. I want to see abundance everywhere, the abundance of possibilities, and celebrating you because there is a space for everyone. You want to have the filter of your subjective reality through joy.
What would be your filter? The one that you want to intentionally filter out your reality through ease. Let it be easy. Many times, we overcomplicate things. We make things harder than they are. Slightly pessimistic and realistic are interesting flows. You are letting things flow the abundance in all aspects of my life. Abundance, flow, possibility, and realistic are joy. I want you to also think of the opposite. When you notice yourself focusing on scarcity, notice that you have the decision to focus more on abundance. When you see yourself feeling you have an attachment to the outcome, notice the opposite is true. You can let go of that and flow with ease.
I promise to give you real-life examples of what this looks like. This is one of my coaching clients, Roberta. She moved to Houston from California to pursue her successful career in sales. She felt that even though she had great success, she was meant for something bigger and more fulfilling. That is an example of a lot of us. During the coaching process, she overcame the limiting belief of, “I'm not capable.” She thought in her mind that she was not enough and capable. She has major limiting beliefs that have been instilled in her since a young age.
Most of our limiting beliefs are programmed within ourselves from the age of zero to seven years old. As empowered adults, we can change that with a lot of action and the right skills. After letting go of those limiting beliefs, she moved across the country and started a career in a director position that aligns perfectly with her values and provides the entrepreneurial components she was looking for. Why? It is because she found that certain thing within herself that she was capable of creating that reality that she was seeking. A few months before this manifested, she didn't believe it was possible. That is the cool thing about life. You don't know how things will unfold to support you through this journey.
Mindset Shift Number 2: Grieving What Could Have Been
Mindset shift number two is one is one that I have been exploring for the last several years because I have suffered many losses. I realized there is so much healing to happen when we allow space to let go of our expectations by grieving what could have been. This mindset shift is about practicing acceptance of what is. We are in situations we decide to be in or cannot control, but we decide to be there.
Part of finding that certainty within yourself is allowing that space to surrender to the feelings and emotions of grieving what could have been. Maybe you are grieving that relationship you were dreaming of or the expectations of the job you thought was going to be your dream job. In the process of grieving, it is accepting what is and where you are. When you go through a process of accepting and a process of not judging what is in front of you, which is a process, you are still a human being. That is when you are empowered to create the reality you have been dreaming of. Allowance is space to let go of your expectations by grieving what could have been.
A few weeks ago, I was coaching one of my clients. She was explaining how she always dreamt of having a family that was tight. After her dad passed away, instead of the family becoming more united, everyone became more separated. She had resentment towards the family she thought she was going to have. I asked her, “Have you allowed yourself space to let go and grieve the family you thought you were going to have?” She looked at me. She was like, “No one has ever asked me that question that makes much sense.”
Having the family you have, you don't have control of. You can create your family of friends, but where you are born, you don't have control. Practicing acceptance and grieving what could have been is important. I want to ask you two questions. What do you still need to grieve? What are the expectations you need to let go of and the things you need to grieve in situations you thought were going to be different?
I'm going to be vulnerable. Last July 2022, I went through a miscarriage. I was pregnant for a couple of weeks. I went through a miscarriage, which is common in many women. The more we talk about it, we let go of that shame and guilt. Thankfully, I had educated myself. I was like, “This is common.” Instead of allowing myself space to grieve, I immediately went to work.
I had a miscarriage. I was in the emergency room. I had to cancel a masterclass I was supposed to give. The next day, I had a breakthrough session with a client. I got myself into work. I didn't allow the space to grieve what I thought that pregnancy could have been. Your mind is like a magic operating system. Several months after I was in spiritual training, an amount of sadness and grieving started popping up. I realized later on that it was because I hadn't allowed space to go through the process of breathing and healing. This is important because it is not until you allow that process that you can move forward and create the reality you have been dreaming of.
I want you to write down what you still need to grieve. Not only that, who do you still need to forgive? Sometimes we find certainty in the familiar. We go through our life and have interactions with certain people. Sometimes there is hurt that happens with those interactions. We find a sense of certainty and control in not forgiving.
One of my clients told me, “Yanet, I cannot forgive this person because if not, I'm letting her be who she is being, which is damaging me.” I told her, “Who do you think is in control now, you or the other person? The other person has control over your emotions and thoughts, and forgiving that person is taking back that control. It is realizing that forgiveness has nothing to do with that person. Forgiveness has everything to do with yourself. You can move calm, centered, and balanced.”
Forgiving another person has nothing to do with that person. It has everything to do with yourself, moving to a calm, centered, and balanced state.
Many times, we go through the guilt of resentment. What if I had made this decision earlier on in my life? What if I could have done this? We go through this guilt. It is not until we let go of that guilt that we can move forward. Grieve the relationship I came out of. Forgive him and forgive myself. My parents divorced, which has been impacting my relationships. Maybe grieving what that relationship between your parents could have been.
I love this quote from Buddha. It says, “Holding onto anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” It is the same thing. Forgiving the other person has nothing to do with that person. It has everything to do with yourself. If you want to regain that sense of certainty, calm, and center, you got to go through this process of breathing and forgiving, which is something I have been learning myself too.
Mindset Shift Number 3: A Rigid Mindset Is Fragile
Mindset shift number three is a big one, and I'm going to explain it. A rigid mindset is fragile. A flexible mindset is limitless. Stay flexible. Sometimes we think certainty is about control. Confidence is about not changing your mind. We think certainty is about perfection. All of these labels and meanings that we give in our minds, if you think about it, are all about being rigid and attached. When you think of attach and look at myself, if you attach to something, you are not letting that thing move. Attachment prevents things from moving. Finding certainty within yourself is also embracing the flexibility and the flow that life brings.
I like to illustrate this with nature. Water is the most flexible element of nature because it can be a gauge, gas, solid, or liquid. If you look at water being a solid, it is a rigid form. When you look at water being ice, what happens when the ice hits the floor? It breaks because it is not flexible. What happens when liquid water, which is flexible and adaptable, hits the floor? It goes everywhere. It still stays in the form of liquid. It can penetrate spaces where nothing else can penetrate.
In terms of our mindset, if we want to create that certainty, we need to let go of the meaning of certainty, like being in control, the certainty of being attached, the certainty of knowing everything that needs to happen, and expecting things to go in a linear way because the nature of life is that everything is ever flowing and ever-changing. Thinking things that life needs to go in a linear way is setting ourselves up for failure and not in a good way.
What does a rigid mindset look like? A rigid mindset looks like this. You are going through a challenging situation. You are like, “Why is this happening to me all the time? Why me? Why is the world happening to me?” I want to be clear here. We all go through this. The important part is how long you stay thinking you are the victim of circumstances. I want to raise my hand. There are days that are like, “Having a business is hard? Why is this happening?” I realize, “This is not a resourceful state. I got to transition back into an empowered state.” It is a flexible mindset.
A flexible mindset is asking instead, “What can I learn from this challenging situation?” Instead of like, “Why is this happening to you?” The world is happening for you. A rigid mindset thinks, “I failed. I knew it. I'm not capable.” A flexible mindset thinks, “What did I learn? How can I incorporate this lesson moving forward?” It focuses on the process rather than the outcome. If you think of failure, failure is an end result.
A flexible mindset knows there is no failure. There is only feedback. It doesn't matter what you are going through. You are always getting lessons that you can incorporate moving forward. A rigid mindset thinks, “I can't start until it is perfect.” Things need to be perfect and linear. A flexible mindset thinks, “How can it ever be perfect if I don't start?”
Let me tell you something. The iPhone and Androids you love get updated almost every month because they are not even perfect. We are learning. We are gathering data. We are learning new things and gaining more clarity every single day. Give yourself permission to be flexible and change your mind as you get new information. This one is a huge one.
I love this quote from Tony Robbins. It was like, “Live life fully while you are here. Experience everything because life is an experimentation process. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, and be weird. Go out and screw up because you are going to screw up anyway, so you might enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes. Find the cause of the problem and eliminate it.” Learn from the challenges. Don't try to be perfect because there is no perfection. Perfect compared to what? Be an excellent example of an imperfect human being. It is such a powerful quote that illustrates a lot of these mindsets we have been talking about.
Mindset Shift Number 4: Not Knowing Is At Your Advantage
Mindset number four, not knowing how things will unfold is to your advantage. I have been there. I'm raising my hand, but I cannot tell you how many people get stopped and paralyzed by not knowing how. Not knowing how is your competitive advantage. When you don't know how, your mind is open to experiencing new avenues.
If you think about it, you can only create from a place of uncertainty. If you are afraid of uncertainty of how many things may turn out, remind yourself that uncertainty is all about creation energy because certainty is about repeating the same thing over and having control. That means if you keep going at that rate outside of you, you keep repeating and getting the same results you have gotten in the past. Embracing uncertainty is embracing that creation energy because the only place we can create from is uncertainty. The only place we can fully embrace uncertainty is in the present moment. That is it, which is the only moment we have.
Practicing mindfulness, meditation, praying, and working out also allows you to embrace that feeling of uncertainty because, in the present moment, we don't know what is going to happen in the next second. We don't know if we are going to wake up tomorrow. Embracing that place of uncertainty is the place of creation.
I love this quote. I was reading part of Course in Miracles, and Dr. Wayne Dyer talks about this. I love that he says, “If you knew who walks beside you on the path you have chosen, fear would be impossible. You would never experience fear or self-doubt one more day of your life.” We got to recognize there is energy. Whatever you call it, if it is God, the universe, yourself, or the universal mind within yourself, whatever it is, there is this energy that is making our heartbeat, hair grow, and nails grow.
Part of creating certainty within yourself is having this faith that things will work out. I don't mean faith in the religious sense, but you can interpret it that way if you are religious. It is having faith in the possibility. If you look back on your life, you see how all the dots connect in the perfect sense to get you to where you are now. Many times in your life, you didn't know how it was going to happen for you, but you kept trusting and having faith that somehow the path was going to unfold in predictable ways to support you.
I want to ask you a question. What would you do if you knew you were supported? Sometimes you got to go first and take that leap of faith, knowing that everything around you is going to support you. I think of my mom. She got to the US with nothing, but she had that hunger for that freedom to create possibility. She had the hunger to give to her daughter what she didn't have herself. She wasn't supported, but she was. She didn't know at that time.
I wanted to give Farida a big shout-out. She is here. Farida is a friend and also a former one-on-one coaching client. When we started working together, she was feeling stuck. She used to put herself down before giving herself the opportunity to pursue any of her goals and dreams. She was struggling with being herself, setting boundaries, and communicating assertively with herself and others.
During the whole process of coaching, she released the belief of, “I'm not good enough.” She decided to trust herself to find that certainty within herself while taking action and getting results in her career and personal development. She now feels empowered to face life's challenges with courage and authenticity. She was telling me how calm and centered she was feeling.
Having the tools and mindset to know that even in the most challenging moments, you are going to be okay. She had a knee injury. Thankfully, she has been healing quickly. In those moments of injury, and not knowing what is going to happen, you realize, “I don't have control of anything that could happen to me, but the only thing I have control of is myself.” Farida has been practicing all of these, which is a day-to-day having of making things happen. Farida let go of her bias from her past and raised her standards in the pursuit of happiness. She has an amazing story, and I hope you get to write a book one day.
Farida gave me permission to share her story. She was born into a religious cult. Her family was born into that cult. In the process of getting to know herself, she realized that she wanted to raise her standards and wanted to pursue happiness for the first time without knowing what happiness looked like for her. She decided to leave her family and everything she knew behind to create the life she was dreaming of. This is important because she didn't know how the path was going to unfold for her.
She is married to her husband. He was a huge support. She has a kid. She is doing amazing in her career. I love the quote Farida said when we were texting. She said, “I chose myself by stepping off the path that had been laid out for me.” A path that had been laid out for her, of being born into a context and situation that, when she was a child, she didn't have control of. As she grew up, she started taking responsibility for herself. She started getting empowered. She pursued that freedom. Now she is giving her daughter the freedom she didn't have when she was growing up. What an amazing story, Farida. A huge shout-out to you.
We are finishing with the mindset. This one is the harsh mindset. Farida said, “The injury made me look inwards physically and emotionally. It evokes many emotions. The self-growth never stops. It is eternal. It is a process.” The more you grow, the more complex challenges you face. The more complex challenges you face, sometimes the old triggers come back, but this time to be faced in a different way. We got to let go and incorporate the lessons again. We are like an onion. If you peel the onion, there are more layers. It is a lifelong process. Part of finding that certainty and fulfillment is taking responsibility for what is going on within ourselves.
Mindset Shift Number 5: No One Is Going To Save You
Mindset shift is a realistic one. No one is going to save you. I say this in the most empowered sense. Sometimes we are waiting. We treat life like a waiting room. We are waiting for someone to show up for someone to offer us help. I want you to adopt this because this can transform your life. You are the one that you got to save yourself. You got to ask for help and support. You got to make sometimes hard and align decisions that will help you align with who you are already. That will help you live with integrity yourself.
If you recognize no one is going to save you, you realize that you are the only one who can save yourself. If you don't work on yourself, you can be in a room of people and have a lot of company, and you can feel lonely within yourself. It is not about anything external to you. It is not about how many people are surrounding you. It is all about your internal world.
I want you to take this mindset shift and take full accountability and ownership for this because the reality is you are a complete human being. All the answers you are seeking are within yourself already. All the resources you need and you think you need are within yourself already. You are resourceful in figuring out anything. It is not a matter of time, money, or anything else. When you want it, you get it. I'm sure we can look back at your life. We can go situation by situation and see how many things you have been able to accomplish even without knowing how the heck we are going to get there. Give yourself huge kudos because you, my friend, as a human being, are resourceful.
You are a complete human being. All the answer you are seeking and the resources you need are within yourself already.
All of you, I'm sure you have many untold stories I would love to tell one day. Naomi became a mom. She moved to a foreign country and stepped back from her intense several-year corporate career. She felt she had lost her identity because a lot of her identity was attached to her career. She also struggled to recover from postpartum depression. I have worked with many new moms. I have lived through them. I have realized when you have a kid, you go through a huge identity shift. That was what Naomi was going through.
Naomi decided to do coaching. She took full responsibility for change and made her personal development a priority. She relaunched her career. With every move, she aligns more with her purpose. She gained clarity on her direction and is building two side businesses. She has developed a strong sense of confidence and belief in herself. Every step she takes is to gain more clarity and align more with everything she has learned about herself.
This is us celebrating the end of the coaching programs. Coaching is a commitment. I act like a guide, but the clients have to take action. It is an action-focused process with a lot of commitment, financially, emotionally, and time-wise. Kudos to you, my friend, for all the transformation you have made. It is not a lack of resources. Your lack of resourcefulness sometimes stops us, including me. Sometimes we are like, “We don't know how to do this.” You always have the answers. You can't figure it out. What you need to create more of is the certainty that you are capable, enough, and resourceful. That is what matters at the end of the day.
Way to go, Farida, Naomi, and everyone. I love it. Thank you so much. Leanna also retired. Congrats to you, my friend. I hope you are enjoying your retirement life. People say, “Knowledge is power.” I say, “Knowledge is potential power. Action is real power.” I want you to ask. What is one action you are going to take now to create certainty within yourself? Maybe it was one of the mindset shifts that resonated with you or one of the questions I asked. What is one action?
For all the content I shared, you are going to remember 10% or 6%. What you remember is what you were meant to remember. It is a thing you were meant to take action on. What is that thing? Someone said, “Stop thinking. Do something and anything, even if it is emptying the dishwasher.” Farida said, “It is all about taking action. Do one thing.”
What is the one action that you commit to taking moving forward to continue creating that certainty within yourself? Someone said, “It is to remind myself that my uncertainty is where my creativity leads.” We cannot create from a place of certainty. You know what it is already. A place of uncertainty is open. There is space to create.
I remind myself that there is no failure. There is only feedback. Therefore, I will take more courageous actions that touch my soul. Someone said, “No one will come to save me consistency with my business. Write a letter of forgiveness with a person that the relationship didn't work out with. Write a letter of forgiveness.” It is such a powerful process, Nikki. I remind myself that I have an advantage by not knowing everything. Perfect reminder when building a business.
The perfect example of that is Tara Blakeley, which I know you love her. She always says, “Not knowing how is your advantage because that way, you can create from a place of not knowing anything. You can be more resourceful and creative.” I'm giving myself permission to be happy to make it easy on you in spite of everything that has passed and all that could go wrong.
In life, we don't have control over anything. There are things that will go wrong. What matters is how we respond to those and what we focus on. You can focus on things that go wrong, which will always be there, or you can focus on the things that are going right, which I'm sure some things are going right. No one is coming to save me, prioritize me, and change my life. Choose yourself. That is beautiful. I love it.
How would your life change if you created a life driven by internal fulfillment instead of external validation? Farida said, “I can't control the future. I can only control how I consistently show up.” Letting go of attachment to the outcome is powerful. How would your life change if you could create a life driven by internal fulfillment and integrity with yourself instead of external validation and wanting to please others? Takeaway, detachment, letting go. Detach and let things flow.
I want to talk about Paola. We worked together several years ago. Since graduating, she had struggled with finding her path, figuring out how to be successful, and feeling some control over her career and future. Paola would put herself down before even starting a challenge. She overcame the limiting belief of, “I will fail.” When you are afraid of failure, there is a preposition in your mind that you will fail. She overcame that. She gave herself permission to dream. She was afraid.
I remember when she made the decision to pursue her MBA. In 2024, she is going to be finishing her MBA. She no longer makes excuses but feels brave enough to face her fears, enjoying a newfound curiosity to explore what she previously thought were unrealistic goals, and having the determination to make them real and make them happen. That is powerful. Thank you.
This is a section where I share how you can work with me. One hour of the full content. If you like my support in creating certainty within yourself, and you are ready to make the commitment mentally, emotionally, and financially to make things happen, if you look at the goals, and you ever set goals for January and December, I want you to be honest with yourself and take radical responsibility. How are you doing? We are halfway through 2023. The time is now to make things happen by creating certainty within yourself and accessing inner resourcefulness.
Aligned 101 Coaching Program
I want to share with you my one-on-one coaching program. It is called Aligned. It is called Aligned because when we feel stuck and lack clarity, confidence, and courage, it is because we are misaligned. I believe you have all the resources you need within yourself. If you align within yourself and start trusting more of what is within, you can manifest any abundance, fulfillment, and happiness you want.
If this episode and masterclass resonated with you, I am confident you are going to love my next masterclass, Permission to be Powerful: How to Lead with Confidence and Live with No Regrets. This is a free, live, and power-packed masterclass, which is happening on Wednesday, August 9th, 2023, at 6:00 PM Central.
You are going to learn the strategies and mindset shifts that have helped my clients and me align with our authentic selves and live a life full of abundance and fulfillment. We are going to talk about how to stop faking it until you make it so you can show up authentically, how you can overcome comparison and jealousy so that you can focus on your goals, and how to also effectively communicate boundaries and speak up with confidence and assertiveness because you were born to shine bright.
You can sign up using the link below. At the end of the masterclass, I will also share how you can work with me if you are ready to embark on this self-discovery journey. Through my Aligned Coaching program, I have helped many clients accomplish dreams they never thought were possible, like manifesting an executive leadership position, moving across the country to their dream state, attracting their ideal romantic partner, overcoming Imposter syndrome, creating side businesses, and much more. This free masterclass is happening on Wednesday, August 9th, 2023, at 6:00 PM Central. If you can make it live, no worries. Sign up because I will be sharing the recording.
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